day 6

this morning was a challenge. i woke up early, only to force myself back to sleep until 45 mins after the alarm had gone off and npr had started reporting the news. i basically begrudgingly got dressed and went to work, the entire time thinking i can do work for 3 days (mind you this is the 3rd day i've been at work) but 5 is just too much. i said to myself, i just don't want to have to go...besides i could be doing so many other things, like writing or creating, or redoing my website or shooting a video, or using the new software i have. so to make a long story short, this morning i was totally consumed about all the things i could do if i wasn't working a "9 to 5." well, i got to work, still sort of sulking but despite being hella busy, it was ok. my work day was just fine. i laughed with my colleagues, i received a challenging but exciting assignment for early 2016 and i survived...as i always do when i go through these fits.

in all of my fussing with myself this morning, i realized that i'm not frustrated with work (i like that i get to work doing something i enjoy, while learning a ton)...i'm frustrated with myself. i had chosen to roll over and go back to sleep when i knew my body had woken up for a reason. i'm the one who didn't spend my time in the right ways when i got home from work the night before. granted, i don't want to work a "9 to 5" for the rest of my life (how about within the next 6-7 years) but it starts with me. everybody who is successful has made sacrifices around how they spend their time. and if i'm ever to get to the place where i wake up when i want and do what i want with my day, then it starts now...after work.

...

we let time go by 

hoping things will change

waiting for memories to fade

yet 

the longer we wait 

the more we allow pride to rule

the more we pretend 

the deeper 

our connection becomes...